Hmm... I liked chapter 5 a lot more than the Ren Faire arc, though I did like last week's chapter a lot too, especially how the tonal transition as the genre possession happened wasn't just in characters' dialogue, but the narrative voice too.
I feel like the style in recent chapters is too Educational, like you're intentionally trying to write something that will benefit certain ppl (maybe you are?). Though I guess that's kind of explicitly acknowledged too when St Lenny says "Oh dear. I’m boring you all. I’ve paused the story for too long. That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?...", which is pretty cool. Still, pausing the story for too long _is_ just kinda bad. At least for me, stuff like Deshawn's introspection just doesn't hit as hard as when the narrative devices are doing the heavy lifting of showing what's cool about these (psycho)phenomena, rather than the words.
I love the detail that when collective delusion is threatened, the people in power will do anything they can to reestablish the genre's power.
Yeah I think that’s one of the realer statements in the chapter lol
Hmm... I liked chapter 5 a lot more than the Ren Faire arc, though I did like last week's chapter a lot too, especially how the tonal transition as the genre possession happened wasn't just in characters' dialogue, but the narrative voice too.
I feel like the style in recent chapters is too Educational, like you're intentionally trying to write something that will benefit certain ppl (maybe you are?). Though I guess that's kind of explicitly acknowledged too when St Lenny says "Oh dear. I’m boring you all. I’ve paused the story for too long. That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?...", which is pretty cool. Still, pausing the story for too long _is_ just kinda bad. At least for me, stuff like Deshawn's introspection just doesn't hit as hard as when the narrative devices are doing the heavy lifting of showing what's cool about these (psycho)phenomena, rather than the words.
Thanks, I…actually agree 😬