Psi Tales: Identity Theft

Enter the Trickster

Tyler’s notes: (1) Some background that will make it a funnier read: the conversation with the text-scammer is mostly copy-pasted from an IRL exchange I personally had with a text-scammer calling themselves “Jenny.” (2) The format is inspired by the SCP Foundation, an amazing collective fiction project that is worth checking out.

Entity #: 724

Class: Archetype

Quarantine/Innoculation Procedures: Entity 724 is an archetypical pattern that arises across most known cultures. Thus containment is not feasible. The Foundation's efforts must instead focus on suppressing the most disruptive variations of the entity, as well as its most charismatic host humans. Individuals showing symptoms should undergo hypnosis followed by intensive deprogramming.

Addendum-724-1: Folks, I know it’s already in its name, but beware that Entity 724 is very tricky. This should go without saying: always handle infected subjects sober. And try not to laugh at any of its jokes. —Agent Paul Lasky

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Akashic Record filed under:
#archetypes #university #frat #trickster #deity #possession

Location: Duke University, North Carolina, USA

Date: Most likely 2025

Possession event, transcript reconstruction:
“Mom, I can’t really hear you, can you put headphones in? …No, mom, the virus didn’t make people that kind of psychic. It made the body grow magnetoreceptors. …I said magnetoreceptors. …Forget about it, basically I still need to hear you, so put headphones in. …No, mom, it doesn’t work like that. Magnetoreception is, like–– You need to be in range of someone’s brainwaves. …No, I’m not showing off being a smarty-pants college boy, I’m–– No, I don’t think you’re a country bumpkin, mom, I’m just telling you how the world works now–– Hey, let me call you later, Braden is back. …OK. …OK, yeah I'll call back later. Love you. Bye.”

“Whaddup whaddup!”

“Where the fuck were you, bro? We had the pledgies on their knees in the grove waiting for, like, half an hour.”

“Hello to you too, Tucker.”

“We ended up trying to jumpscare the pledgies with a ghoul psimoji instead.”

“Did they piss their boxers?”

“No, it fucking sucked.”

“Psimojis are pretty unreliable.”

“Where was our headless ghoul, Braden? That was supposed to be you.” 

“Hey, at least I’m still in costume, that’s gotta count for something.”

“Hold up, what’s up with your eyes? Bro, did you catch some sort of brainworm?”

“Heh, I eat brainworms for breakfast.”

“You feel like you’re high.”

“I’m not high, but I’d like to be. Pass me that blunt, brudda.”

“If you want this blunt, you tell me what the fuck was more important than the final night of rush week.”

“You know, Tucker? A ghoul like me can only be headless for so long until a ghoul gets tired of being headless. Check it out.”

“Yoo, the fuck is that?”

“I found a head. Take a sip from it.”

“Yo get that shit out of my face. Hold up. Is that an animal skull?”